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Suicide planned for concert Suicide is illegal in all 50 states, I believe, but what're you gonna do, put someone in jail? Well, this band is planning a suicide at their next concert by a terminally ill person in order to support physician-assisted suicide. The city is working furiously to make this not legal. This is truly bizarre. Gruesome though it may be, the only way this can stand is if it goes under something like the good samaritan law (think Seinfeld). I don't think there's anything like accessory to suicide laws on the books. Thanks to Burch for this one.

So after watching the Cubs win last night, I realized that ties at any base should actually go to the fielder. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but Umps judge the call by watching the bag and listening for the ball in the fielder's glove. Ties currently go to the runner. But the runner has the added advantage of light moving faster than sound. So if the Ump perceives a tie, in reality, the ball got there a minute fraction of a second before the runner actually did. So ties should go to the fielder. Oh yea, Kerry Wood is the man.

A few people asked what kind of people actually check out my site. So here's the September stats:

A Visit is logged with a cookie on the user's machine, which expires when the session ends. So refreshing the home page doesn't count.
Google sent me 368 people and Yahoo sent 188.
Most popular searches:

Visitors have come from (during August and September):

Technologies we should get rid of. Some I agree with - Nukes, Land Mines, Coal. Others are just idiotic. DVDs? Implants? Prisons? Right. Don't get me started on the Internal Combustion Engine.

Man attempts to shoot son after Bama loses Two things. 1) this might rate as a new entry in the 'Fandom' essay and b) if your dad is throwing dishes, kicking boxes, do you think that's a good time to ask for a car? Thanks to Ms. Minardo for this one.

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King Trailer It came out a few days ago, and it just rocks rocks. If Peter Jackson doesn't get the Oscar, there's something fundamentally wrong with the Academy.

OpenOffice.org hits 1.1 Open Office is an Open Source alternative to Microsoft Office, meaning it's free and you will never be in violation of the license unless you go waaay out of your way to break it. It includes a Word Processor, Spreadsheet, Presentation Software, and a Draw Utility (similar to Visio). It can automatically create PDFs, Flash Files (from Presentation), and a million other things, including XML. If you're tired of having to dodge Microsoft licensing hastles, give it a try. All of the programs included can read and write their Microsoft equivalents. It's a 65 MB download, so it may take a bit over a slow connection. Straight off of Slashdot

| Girl, 5, makes bong in class She brought in her pimp for career day. "No man, see, you're getting air in here. You're gonna have to put some gum around the base or sumthin'." Thanks to Bob for this one.

Jack Black - SNL This Saturday. If you're not there, you better be dead, or in jail. And it you're in jail, BREAK OUT!!!!

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and the Star Wars line Triumph goes nuts on a bunch of huge nerds. 18 MB Download. After you watch it, check this out. And, if you want to check out other Triumph or Ali G videos, Go Here. Thanks to JT for this bonanza of comedy.

Why Lord of the Rings Sucked by Maddox This guy is hilarious. And this page is hilarious. And Jim sent it to me. Thanks Jim.

Bill Maher - Uncle Sam Wants You Back US fears mass troop exodus. Original Article Why would anyone actually want to stay?

The Weasel Awards Go vote. The correct answers are RIAA, USA (maybe Saudi Arabia), Halliburton, All of the Above (except my dad), G Dub, and Fat McDonald's patrons.

The Picasso Project When Jim showed me Ballparks.com I thought that was the most intensive research project on the Web (aside from Everything2). But no, these guys have 6,893 works catalogued, researched, and footnoted. Wow. See you in a couple days.

Tighty Whitey Rug If you did a TW Keg Stand on these, would the universe implode? Or would Elvis knock on your door?

Fun Games including Weezer Sumo It's gonna be link-o-rama here today.

Man dies after wife crushes nuts Suck.

Wired News Most of this is in the magazine and vice-versa. Good stuff today about HD-DVD and P2P in dorms.

Nearly 7 in 10 think Special Prosecutor needed Picturing Karl Rove in prison orange cuddling with his new boyfriend is pretty fun. While I don't think they'll ever find exactly who did this, it's always entertaining to watch a witch hunt go down. Treason ain't cool. And the ultimate irony? Whoever did this could be prosecuted as a terrorist under the... wait for it... PATRIOT Act. It's schadenfreudie day here on bhendrix.com.

Daily Kos Daily news analysis with a Democratic slant. Bookmark it. Read it often.

Russian Prison Tattoos "The tattoos are painfully applied with needles and electric shavers, using ink made from urine, soot, and shampoo. Infection from the procedure is frequent, and death not uncommon." Think you're tough? Think again. Take a look at the cathedral tat, and then contemplate how long it took to do that. Heads up - some images probably not safe for work.

Jet Board like a muthaf%@$a This thing is AWESOME on about 10 different levels including engineering, design, eXtremity, innovation, and eXtremeness. Watching it in action, it's like a piece of sci-fi. And the article is from Mechanical Engineering magazine, so it's not just fluff and press release.

Andy J and some ladies This one seems pretty ripe. It's go time. Shake off your case of the Mondays. Thanks to James R for the suggestion.

Will Ferrell Harvard Commencement Speech Bobby D brought this one around again. Andy, please begin your taunting... now.

News Source drastically affects news perception This blows my mind, although it really shouldn't. It would appear that the people that are the most ill-informed tend to be those who rely exlusively on one source. It takes effort to seek the real truth of a matter, and if you just watch the news, be aware that you might not be getting the entire picture. Freedom of the press is a great thing, if only because it provides competition. So if you're just relying on CNN, or Fox, or Kos, or oh-my-god, please-tell-me-you're-not, this site, then go check out something else. And apparently that something else is PBS or NPR. So where do you get your news? Thanks to Katie M. for this one.

Game's Out There! Cubs Win, Cubs Win!! Kerry Wood leads them to a win. Has hot wife. News at 11.

4 More Women Go Public Against Schwarzenegger It's a dark day in politics. If he gets elected, it's proof that voters don't really care what a candidate says (because he hasn't said ANYTHING). The only way he won't win is if the recall is defeated. And that's just sad.

A little weird goes a long way. Hodge Podge of information including NPN going national, or at least gaining respect in Cleveland. Thanks to Fark for this one.

Land Rover adding spice to lineup. Click through to take a look at the two pics. Does this seem not-so-safe to anyone else? TT gets more ponies. This has been coming for a while - VR6 TT with 250 HP and ridunculous transmission. But it's still too much for what it is. Used it's great 'cause Audis drop in value like dress pants at formal. Sorry Philippe. BAR drops Villeneuve Probably 'cause he's a bitch and hasn't been driving too well. Alonso could be the next Michael since he could probably keep up if he was driving Brendan's shopping cart buggy. And finally, F1 is thinking about two flying laps for qualifying next year. So they got that going for 'em. Which is nice.

Let the flames begin... Guide to Sorority Girls A compendium of forwarded stuff and new alarming insights and stereotypes. Once you've warmed up, head to Sorority Smackdown. Fratastic.

Moroccan teacher throws kids out of class. Literally. I guess no one's gonna mess with her again. Thanks to Shek for this one.

Tom Tomorrow weighs in on Marriage Protection Week and one huge bigot. I don't know how much it costs to put on marriage protection week, but couldn't that money be used for marriage counseling, abused spouse shelters, family crisis centers? Instead it comes off as a tirade from the Whitehouse against citizens of this country. I'm at a loss as to how someone could hate a group of people they don't know so much that they want to erect a granite statue in order to continue hating them after they are dead.

Male contraceptive 100% effective It's an implant and shots, so no pills. The real trick will be if they can somehow identify people who are actually on it. "Sure baby, I'm on that new male birth control."

Car Boot Cutting Man = Rock Star Guy dresses up in costume and cuts the boot off of people's cars. Gotta hand it to him for providing a public service. Thanks to Ms. Minardo for this one.

'Honor Killing' gets life sentence. Again, I'll never understand what could be so powerful over a person that they would actually take someone else's life to follow their beliefs. At what point do you stop ignoring that little voice in your head that says 'Hey, maybe this isn't right.' Or do people like this have no voice? Or is the voice saying, 'Yea, he's Christian and he's marrying your daughter. Kill him.' And what causes THAT voice? Argh. I promise more random crap today and tomorrow.

eXtreme Pumpkins Excellent. I especially like the huge flames. Thanks to Dave Barry for this one.

The Britney J roundup. Hold on. Warning: May not be safe for work. Esquire article and pics Thanks to Bobby D for this one. Britney pics from all over Also includes the Esquire pics. And finally, Britney sans bra or with prosthetic Sex and the City nipples.

Bid on someone's Glass Eye Thanks to Nino, Shek, DP, and JT for this one.

How to drag race a rented Neon - and win In case anyone was wondering, that is my real Uncle Kevin in the comments section. And he sent me this a while ago, so here it is. Hillarity.

Jackson takes keg to statehouse Thanks to JT for this one.

The Spy Next Door In what's been deemed the 'Plame Affair' a deep-cover spy was outed by the White House for purposes that are somewhat murky. It may have been in order to explain her husband's trip to Niger to investigate the Iraq uranium claims, but who knows? This is a good in-depth article on how important she was and how much risk this has caused for others. I posted about this before, but treason still ain't cool, and the image of Karl Rove in an orange jump suit is pretty cool. And why is it that Tom Clancy and Ayn Rand books are looking more and more like non-fiction?

Michael Moore and his new book and film. Love 'em or hate 'em, he's always good for a debate. Good column if you've got time to read it. And yes, it's from Movie Poop Shoot.

Catholic Church says condoms don't prevent spread of AIDS In other news, they condone pedophiles in their ranks, oppose all forms of birth control, think women are 2nd class citizens, and hate gays and everyone else who isn't them. How long before they start supporting terrorists? Oh, wait, they already did. Best Quote: The archbishop of Nairobi, Raphael Ndingi Nzeki, said: "Aids... has grown so fast because of the availability of condoms." This one's from Fark.

Sapp and LaVar go head to head Nothing like some ridiculous trash talking to get things going on Thursday. Here's to the North Hills representing. Thanks to Ryan for this one.

New breast cancer prevention method introduced Some hard hitting research went into this one. Morning, nooner, and night, scientists and doctors giving their all for science. Does a heart good. Thanks to Philippe for this one.

Ghettopoly causes a stir. Joke. Laugh. Can't wait for the sequels mentioned. Thanks to Derek via Andy.

Man kills friend. Drinks Blood Okay kids, movies aren't real. Vampires don't come to your house and make pacts. That is all. Thanks to Mr. Burch.

What $87,000,000,000 looks like This is the amount of coin bush wants for the war. Ripped shamelessly from jwz.

Yahoo! News - Bill Gates Answers Canadian Cop's Child Porn Plea Props go where props are due. So cheers to Microsoft for helping out with this kind of thing. Thanks to Burch for bringing this one around.

Seeming irregularities in Diebold voting machines Gubernatorial recall results are fishy. For those keeping score, Diebold's has dontaed truckloads of money to Bush and the Republicans, and has even promised to 'deliver Ohio to Bush'. So the issue seems ripe for conflict of interest. Also, these voting machines appear to be as secure as a paper tent. Thanks to Fark via JT for this one.

"Rock Music was the one way to stick it to the man." "Don't tell me you never got the Led out?" Grad Student being sued for Shift key revelation Company full of idiots is formed. Company comes up with ridiculous scheme to institute Digital Rights Management (DRM) on a CD. Grad Student discovers that if you uninstall certain componenets it won't work, hack this, hack that, or... you can just hold down the shift key when you put it in your machine. Company sues claiming this guy has ruined them. Welcome to America. I used to think downloading, stealing, whatever, music was not such a great idea, but now, have at it.

In case you're looking for something to do this weekend, go see School of Rock. You will not be disappointed. Or read 'The Da Vinci Code'. Thanks to Oof for the book.

The Dan Band Web Site And, cue the jealousy. They're gonna be in NYC this weekend, so of course those peeps get to see them. Look for the CD sampler. Thanks to CG(i) for this one.

Monkey can control robotic arm with thoughts. This is quite simply, unbelievable. I guess it's not out of the realm of possibility, but I'm just awestruck. Thanks to David D. for this one. This reminds me of this artificial eye article as well as this guy's atrificial vision device with brain implants. And finally, this is like that scene in 'Dave' where he has the two robotic arms with the sensors on his arms and he says, "I caught a fish this big" and the arms go really, really big. And last but not least, it looks like we're not too far away from Star Ship Troopers (the crapy movie, anyway) with fully-functional bionic replacements for lost limbs.

Drinkometer - The Drink-o-Meter Test - How much Alcohol have you consumed? That's a lot of booze. It also calculates legal agee from 17, so it's maybe a little off, but hey.

Seperated Twins. This is pretty awesome. Thanks to Andy J. And in sub-related link news, here's The Wired story about the Iranian twins. We're getting there. Slowly.

Aston Martin AMV8 Photo Gallery The things I would do in order to own this car cannot be described on this web site. This car is absolutely perfect. Look at the rear 3/4 view. Here's some more general info And in other news... BMW steals a Porsche, rams it into a CLK, rips the trunk off of a Galant and calls it the 6 Series My passion for the AMV8 can nearly be matched by my hatred for Chris Bangle. He better hope he doesn't meet me in an alley - well lit or dark. Thanks to JT for both of these.

DC Oktoberfest and Sri's birthday Fly In. Go to dinner. Go to Adams-Morgan. Cubs Win. Meet Flamants. Drop beer. Get Pizza. Sleep on couch. Shower. Attend Beer Fest. Hitch hike. Eat Food. Pong. Do Car Bombs. Consume RB&V. Cubs Win. Take Break. Sleep on Couch. Do work. Watch football. Fly out. Happy birthday Sri.

Big Fish Trailer This is the new one from Tim Burton.

I haven't mentioned this in a while, but if there are any pictures you see on the site that you would rather other people didn't see, please let me know and I'll take them down. It's all about the fun (and the politics, and the cars, and the...). brian@bhendrix.com

Sleeping Monkey Sort of a Maddox-type site. 16 Nintendo endings are right on. Contra is probably up there as well, but the crazy helicopter flying off saves it. Thanks to JT for this one.

Bill Maher on Rush With Limbaugh's drug problem recently coming to light, Maher actually displays compassion, logic, and understanding to the drug issue. What a concept. Do me a favor and pass this along to someone else. And then contemplate if I had 2000 pictures on my site documenting not me acting like a drunken stooge, but doing a boatload of heroin (aside from the resemblance to 'Behind the Music').

Standing next to obese people makes you less attractive. This is not a joke. Repeat. This is not a joke. Thanks to Philippe for this one.

Legoland is hiring How cool would this be?

After I posted This thing Burch took it upon himself to get one. And Here it is. Thanks Burch!

FDA may re-think Silicone Gel breast implant ban Not being a woman, I can't even fathom what would make you want to get this done, especially after seeing that MTV True Life special about breast (and calf) implants. But bidness is bidness, I guess. For more on why these were taken off the market, visit Silicone Holocaust. I made it to page 2 of the pictures before I almost puked.

New low-cost airline scheduled for startup in the Burgh for June 2004. Hopefully they'll completely eliminate USAirways eventually. Good on ya'. Thanks to Philippe for this one. Update And Here's another carrier starting in the burgh. Thanks again to Philippe.

New Will Ferrell Flick - Elf Looks pretty funny. Check out the trailer. It's directed by John Favreau, who did Swingers. Thanks to Andy J for this one.

This is a first, but if anyone's looking for a job, here's a posting from Jeremy.

System's Analyst/Trainer position:
International Travel required (60-70%) - Desire to travel is very important
3 Years experience required - either systems analyst, or training experience is a BIG plus
Applicant must live or move to DC
Applicant must be able to get Security Clearance

Click Read More to see the whole thing.
SYSTEMS TRAINER III (INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL) (reference ork#192)
Responsible for deploying Windows NT and Oracle systems at State Dept. posts worldwide. Will provide technical support during systems installation and train on site staff on the application and systems level. Requires 4-6 years experience in systems training and skills in Windows NT, systems installation, PC LAN and technical support. Position requires 50-75% international travel and U.S. citizenship. BA/BS Degree is required. Candidate must be able to lift and handle computer equipment. Applicants selected will be subject to a government security investigation and must meet eligibility requirements for access to classified information. Location: Sterling, VA

Email jeremy_weinstein@hotmail.com if interested.

Dog humps toy. Story at 11. Check out the rest of the pics Over at bweather.com

Housewarming from Philippe. Thanks to Philippe for uploading and captioning all these bad boys. A good time was had by all. I think.

Canada gets provisional date New qulifying tweaks as well. Anybody know if the qualifying is best of the two timed laps or the second only?

After hopping on the band wagon like a champ about 2 weeks before the end of the season (with some assistance from actual Cubs fans) we headed down to chi-town for the game last night. Which was bad, then awesome, then not good. Wish it would have gone the other way. So does Kerry Wood And he's blaming himself. Which is crap. Ah well. There's always next year...

Scientists transfer data at 5.54 gigabits per second That's a DVD in about 7 seconds. They sustained it over 30 minutes. Pretty cool. This is the official press release. Lots more info there.

People don't need cell phones to launch the shuttle Good quick hit about cell phones. Reminds me of a certain rant.

iTunes music store launched for Windows today And, as an added bonus, as I write this, the #1 song on the site is... 'Stacy's Mom'.

beta-7.com This site is so bizarre I had to post it. Keep reading it - look at the FAQ and the background. And most definitely check out the videos. I know this has to be fake, but it's soooo much work to fake it all. Thanks to Sperl for this one.

Tracy Morgan ESPN commercials Thanks to Sperl for this one.

Pamela Anderson says boycott KFC Does anyone actually care? I might eat more KFC now just for the hell of it. Here's the proper chicken life cycle: Hatch. Eat. Eat. Eat. Get hacked up. Get in my belly. Where's the confusion? Make mine extra crispy.

Threee star General says we're in a holy war. Nothing like insulting someone's chosen God to win hearts and minds. Remind me to follow this guy into battle some time.

Dog gnaws off sleeping boy's fingers. Gruesome. "Good thing he didn't have peanut butter on his penis." - jb Thanks to Burch for the article.

Froggy's is closing As Bean pointed out, hopefully this has nothing to do with our trip there this year...

Pittsburgh no longer safe anywhere. If they can rob a strip club at one in the morning, nothing is safe. Nothing I say. Thanks to Ryan for this one.

Man cuts off Big Jim and the Twins for sympathy Not sure how much sympathy this would get you, but hey, you never know. Oh yea - bhendrix.com will be starting ANOTHER network - Cutoff Balls Network (CBN). Which came first, the internet, or the disconnected genitalia?

All Look Same.com Telling the difference between the Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans is hard. Take the test. I got a 3. Yes, three. Post your score in the Comments. Thanks to Decker for this one.

Boston 2003 Tommy's birthday. Mommy's birthday. Head of the Charles. Bars with impossible names. Dogs. Fun.

20 Year Old Shatters Airline security myth. FBI pissed. I'm glad someone did this. Airport security is an absolute farce. Every week I come up with some new way that someone could smuggle various crap onto the plane. I would rate this boy's actions as double plus good.

I am Duffman!
Which Simpsons Character are YOU? Thanks to the Mitras for this one.

Cornell Lightweight 8 spanks Harvard, Dartmouth, and lots of other wicked smaht kids Only the disciplinarians from Navy and the Yalies did better in the collegiate ranks. And, in other news, my sister Kate drove me to the airport at 4:45 this morning. She is a star. Oh yea - don't go to www.headofthecharles.org.

Same-Sex Family Values "Toby and Jean Adams moved to Auburn, Calif., to raise their daughter in a close-knit community with good schools. The reaction of their neighbors and fellow churchgoers -- from anger to acceptance to confusion -- mirrors Middle America's evolving attitudes toward gays and gay marriage." An excellent profile of two women and their child caught in the middle of politics, the church, and a small town.

17 Errors found in Dude, Where's My Country. New Michael Moore book contains errors, according to these folks. Many of the errors they've found are results of Moore picking one side of issues that are disuputed. Others are matters of picking one source over another. And still others are issues with using quotes out of context. Anyway, an interesting read, along with their site, Spinsanity.org and their Criticism of Moore. Take everything with a grain of salt. All the time.

Porsche Carrera GT While it doesn't look as cool as the AMV8, I guess I could make due with 605 HP in a car that weighs 3043 pounds and has "a superb power-to-weight ratio of 5.03:1". Wow. $440,000.

Bus Tips over - in Bus Cam This is so... disturbing. Reminds me of the rocket sled footage they used to show in physics class where they guy's face would completely distort due to the G loads. Thanks to Katie M. for this one.

Helicopter+Soldiers+Dogs = Hilarious Reminds me of this one time, in Ace Ventura II when the racoon fell off the rope. Thanks to JT.

Dilbert Weasel Award Results Previous predictions are Here. Thought Mike Moore getting second to GWB was interesting. Also of note is that even with Halliburton in the running, MS came out on top.

Cookie Makers perfecting cookies While I appreciate whole cookies as much as the next fat ass, couldn't these resources be put to better use? Ah well. Thanks to Rob (rowing spectator extraordinaire) for this one. Madison represent.

Ralph Wiggum or Bush Match the quote with the person. I'm going to Bovine University! Many thanks to Shek for this one.

Good News! The deficit is only $374 billion. White House declares victory. Really. Thanks to Philippe for this one.

Tom Tomorrow is particularly insightful this week.

Elliott Smith dead at 34 I'm at a complete loss. He will be missed. A lot. If you haven't heard him, do me a favor and pick up some of his stuff.

Street Terms for Drugs Straight from Fark. Some of these are just ridiculous. And who knew there were so many names for Heroin?

In order to get over hump day, here's a nifty little foreshadowed caption madness. Go!

Rice Cop fights against theRice Boyz At points I'm convinced that these people are faking it, but then I see someone on the street with this shite, and it all comes together. I'm hoping to do some upgrades to the site soon and call it bhendrix.com turbo alpha Type R. Keep your fingers crossed. And just because it's been a crummy morning, here's the Strong Bad Stink-o-man e-mail. Thanks to JT for the Rice Boy link.

George Will on why we elect Governors and Generals for President Insightful. Timely.

Homestar Halloween 2002 and Halloween 2001 Just to get you warmed up.

High Speed Photography Big fan of the Queen of Hearts cut in two. And the shotgun blast. The Jolt Cola blowing up would make a good ad. From Fark.

How to properly adjust your TV Nice quick guide to getting a good looking picture.

Saturn Hits 212 on Bonneville Salt flats My guess is that they dropped it out of a plane and it hit 212 just before impact. But still, pretty impressive. Wonder what kind of add-ons it had, aside from a giant exhaust cannister, wing, and Type-R sticker. Thanks to JT for this one.

Maine laptop program doing well. Except for a lack of funds. The one concern I have is that kids are producing powerpoint presentations instead of actual reports. Here's a Wired article about the evils of Power Point and here's how it's really useful. Anyone can use a tool and make something great. And anyone can use a tool to make something awful. PowerPoint seems to lean pretty far to the evil side.

Bob Cringley on Open Source vs. Microsoft A good brief on why Open Source is actually *gasp* a pretty good idea. Straight off of Slashdot.

Changes afoot for the Tour de France Time trial in the mountains seems like a cool idea. I'd prefer they leave the cobblestone roads on the Paris-Roubaix, though. When those things get wet, it's an injury fest for no particular reason. Thanks to JT for the heads up.

Talking Ann Coulter This would go nicely with my He-Men collection. If anyone's looking for gift ideas... And then take a look at the rest of the site. Seems more than one company is producing the George Bush fighter pilot doll.

Kos does this most days. It's travel time, so no updates for a bit. Feel free to post links, stories, etc. in the Comments here.

Britney Look-a-like Pretty impressive. Be sure to read the whole page. Thanks to the newly employed Mr. Park for this one.

Farting Dog toy confuses airport security Between this and the kid that put all the 'weapons' on the Southwest flights, it's really been an excellent week for the airport security industry.

Hand Sportz - X-treme Hand tricks If you know me, you've probably had the misfortune of watching me spin my pen until you want to puke. And now there's a web site for it. And other crazy tricks. Awesome.

Privacy Group sky-writes Citbank CEO's SSN Gotta love creative methods of pointing out other's failings. I guess they only did the first 5 digits, though. Other interesting point is that they got Ashcroft's number but couldn't put it up because of the damn Patriot Act.

Icelandic Fishing Captain grabs 660 lb shark with bare hands and kills it Ho. Ly. Crap. Remind me not to mess with THAT guy.

Bush bites it on stem cell research "If he's got both his facts and his logic wrong -- and he has -- Bush's alleged moral anguish on this subject is unimpressive. In fact, it is insulting to the people (including me) whose lives could be saved or redeemed by the medical breakthroughs Bush's stem cell policy is preventing." And if you haven't read it yet, please, please, please read Lies and the Lying Liars That Tell Them by Al Franken.

Cheerleader shoots cheerleader with paintball That had to hurt.

This commercial is hilarious

Knee Defender prevents seat reclining on airplanes Seems like a pretty cool idea, especially if you have a laptop that becomes useless once the seat is reclined in front of you. Or worse, the screen becomes crushed between the tray holder and the tray. 5 worst economy classes on aircraft. Going out to Dave and Mayes.

New Sugar has 38% of the calories and is just like real sugar Pretty sweet. Get it? Huh? Man, I kill myself. Thanks to JT for this one.

The Big Shocker If you're a fan of the shocker, accept no substitutes. Awesome. Thanks to Jay for the one. Update Be sure to download the commercial.

Great Austin Debacle II A good time was had by all. Funny hats were worn. Cheap drinks were consumed. Pool was sharked. Live Music was listened to. Polega, Ren, Morry, and our host Bharath were visited. Rock on.

Rappin fat kid I think he's related to the Star Wars Kid. Golden Ham for his birthday. Thanks to Burch for this one.

Profile of performance enhancing drug use Interesting experiment about drug use and cycling.

Rapper takes aim at Enron execs. Ex-employee decides not to go postal. Record ensues. Thanks to Kulla via Bob for this one.

Puzzles with Fibonacci numbers Pretty cool.

Irony in picture form

Are you pissed.com Plug in your data, your drinks, and calculate Jim's... er... I mean, your drunkenness. Thanks to Philippe for this one.

I'm laughing so hard I'm just gonna post his entire e-mail. From Rick: This thing supposedly could knock out all kinds of electronic equipment, particularly communication devices, particularly those that require the use of a satellite. The irony of this email (as well as a potential posting) would then be my/our using the very technology that could be knocked out to warn those of the technology that could be knocked out. Did I get that right? The Story

Man wearing "Porno Pants" pulled over At least he gave the officers fair warning.

Corpse escapes on highway. Delay ensues. Not good.

NRA Blacklist site A list I aspire to be on. Looking through the names, it's pretty funny. Boys II Men is on it, along with Mike Myers' wife. They have background music, so you've been warned.

Homestar Runner Halloween 3 Thanks to JT for this one. And if you recognize who Poop Smith is, it should tell you something.

Great Austin Debacle II from Bharath Here's the rest of the entire sordid story. Such as it is. Thanks to Bharath for the pics and captions.

Full on F15 Cockpit Sim built from an actual cockpit This is pretty amazing. He's not done yet, but he's done a ton of work so far. Thanks to Burch for this one.

E-Bay offer of the century Makes a great Christmas gift. Thanks to Ryan for this one.

FOXSportsworld.com - Canada earns win but captain taken off by stretcher "He was hit rather hard around the face and jaw," Clark said. "He was knocked out. I think he's going to get about 740,000 stitches in his mouth." Sounds like fun. Thanks to JT for this one.

Get Offended.com list of uh, stuff Probably not a good thing to read at work, but the One-Eyed Pirate is worth the price of admission. Don't click through if you are easily offended.

eBay will sell anything. I can't believe that fellow Maine-iacs would do this to each other. Remember Alf? Well he's back. In POG form. Thanks to DTsperl for this one.

What a HEMI actually is It's not as revolutionary as it once was, but it's pretty cool. Check it out.

Hitler's blog effort So wrong it's funny. Like my costume.

Fox News insider spills the beans Fair and Balanced? Not so much.

Homestar Halloween 0 I forgot this one. Going out to Gabe. Corporate Rock still sucks. And Pom Pom still rules. Rules. Bored over 30.

It's travelling time. Open Comments for Web-like goodness. I'll give you a topic. Homestar is neither a home but is a star. Discuss.

Tenacious D DVD comes out Tuesday Damn you Austin dwellers, damn you! If you can ever catch them in concert, it's an awesome time. I gotta get to a Dan Band show to compare.

Binge Drinking decreases with diversity Three little letters to disprove this idea: C.M.U. Cheers! From Fark.

Why spawn shouldn't be in restaurants I didn't write this, but I wish I did. Good on ya'. Also from Fark.