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You can only buy redskin tickets with redskin credit cards? Apparently so, if you pay by credit card. Checks, and of course cash, are always accepted. Thanks to derek for this whole thing.

Euphamisms for rectal functions. From JT. Anybody know what it means to do the Aztec Two-Step? I do know this is the first time the word 'rectal' has appeared on the site.

Mario is a communist. Not Mario Lopez, THE Mario.

Krugman on why privatization numbers don't add up.

It really is that stark: any growth projection that would permit the stock returns the privatizers need to make their schemes work would put Social Security solidly in the black.

And the obligatory counterpoint.

DiCaprio receives lifetime achievement award. The dude is 30, and his first movie was Critters 3.

He said: "From what I understand, it's a lifetime achievement award, which is completely and utterly surreal, considering I'm 30 years old.

What he meant to say: "From what I understand, which isn't too much, it's a lifetime achievement award, which is completely and utterly f*cked, considering I'm 30 years old and look like I'm 15. I'd love to know what those Californian Film Festival judges are smokin' because I want some."

Brick put this one together. Thanks Brick.

30 Things you didn't know about your tech support guy. It's more just about dorks in general, but worth a chuckle. The rest of the site has some other amusing stuff.

Bean-o suggested this one.

Motion Sensitive Phones are coming. Those crazy Japanese, always working on their golf games and karaoke. Also hints at the reasons you can't get basic phones anymore, which include new revenue streams for providers.

The AP Story

The Drudge Story

JT sent these in. Update The AP followed up with a confirmation that no soldiers are missing.

20 Questions. It's one of those learning algorithm game things. It's pretty good at this point, although it can be stumped.

From boot: Used by athletes to avoid detection. I thought for sure that i had some cookie from a year ago, but no -- i was wrong... New Designer Steriod Found Maybe this is what will get Barry and Sosa rattled.

New Michelin airless tire. This is pretty damn nuts. It's going on the iBOT, the crazy Dean Kamen wheelchair. The photo gallery has pics of it on an Audi and a bulldozer.

This means that vertical stiffness (which primarily affects ride comfort) and lateral stiffness (which affects handling and cornering) can both be optimized, pushing the performance envelope in these applications and enabling new performances not possible for current inflated tires.

Australian woman scams eBay with non-existent Duff beer. Apparently two breweries made some Duff beer before Fox stepped in and put an end to it. The fact that it was selling for $500/case is mind-boggling. Thanks to ryan for this one.

Another american hero has been taken hostage. What depths will they sink to next? Bastards.

Math jokes. (PDF file) I'm not even gonna pretend to understand some of these. Some are worth a good chuckle, though.

Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain goat and a mountain climber?
A: Nothing—you can’t cross two scalars.

Krist Novoselic is on a political rampage. (make sure you read the last line) Derek sent this whole thing in.

Adelphia Adds Hard-Core Porn to Cable "We're all public companies that want to make a lot of money" Thanks to Nino for this one.

50 Ways to be an asshole. From the Tufts Daily via Fark via JT.

22. You like Paris Hilton.
29. You are a blonde girl from Connecticut.
38. You've heard people refer to you with the word 'sketchy' as a prefix to your name.

Reviews of celebrities from wait staff. Some interesting tidbits in the bottom section. Thanks to naj for this one.

The Asshole Quiz - clickable version. I've been doing way too much coding lately. Anyway, thanks to mayes for the inspiration.

Microsoft is not happy that of the people who have MP3 players at Microsoft, about 80% of them are iPods. This one's all from Philippe.

Robb report writer wrecks a Ford GT. And then gets fired for it. They thought it was an Automobile writer at first. VT in the house. Thanks to Rollins for this one. Here's another pic.

The IMDb posted the headline "Aniston Turns to Girlfriends".

It was not about what I had hoped. Instead, it was about her 'support circle'. But it finished with the following lines, and my hope lives on.

When I am with my girlfriends and we are having a 'goddess circle'. The most beautiful I have ever felt is when I am surrounded by a group of women and we are having some wonder ful evening together and are celebrating women.

Gene Kelly... updated. I don't know if this is showing in the US, but an interesting take nonetheless.

Windows screen cam utility from Microsoft. I haven't tried it out, but it's free, so that can't be bad...

Baby died because rabbi gave it herpes... during circumcision... using his mouth. Way to go, buddy.

Wife charged with killing her husband via alcohol poisoning from a lethal sherry enema Holy crap.

Michael Warner, a 58-year-old machine shop owner, had a long history of alcoholism, but couldn't ingest alcohol by mouth because of painful medical problems with his throat, said Lake Jackson police detective Robert Turner. The enema was a way he could become intoxicated without drinking alcohol, Turner said.

"I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," Turner said.

Update The Smoking Gun has pics and the rap sheet.

A whole bunch of counterpoints to the State of the Union. Some are reasonable, some aren't. But there they are.

Listening to another complaint about "activist judges" last night made me believe that "activist judge" was just a term for "judges I don't agree with".

I'm obviously not a lawyer or have anything close to legal training. But here's what I see going on with judge-only cases.

1. A case comes up before a judge. The judge decides the case based on the relevant law(s) that has been written by the legislature. There is interpretation necessary to see if the law applies and how it does, and this is most often based on previous similar cases and their precedents. If there is no precedent, the judge is to use their training and experience to render a judgement in the spirit of the law.

2. So someone may take issue with a decision, especially if it's that last part, the 'spirit of the law' judgement. If they do, they can make an appeal to a higher court. If the decision is overturned, justice has been served, and the appeal process worked. If the appeal is rejected, that's tough. You have to live with the decision. However...

3. You can always lobby to have the law re-written or changed. If the issue has merit, the legislature can go back and say 'oh, we really did mean the other thing' and change the law.

4. If the case involves declaring a law unconstitutional, then you can change the constititution, as many states did this past fall.

That's the beauty of this whole system. With the checks and the balances, and the balances and the checks. Anyway, I'm sure I'm a little off in some of the details, but introducing a group of new judges will only serve to produce judgements the appointer agrees with. And those who disagree with the new group will be able to cry 'activist judge' on the new judges. Idealy, appointments should be made on judicial merit, but until they are, stop crying 'activist judge'.

My favorite keyboard shortcuts. In no particular order.

• Web browser
  • Spacebar - goes one page down.
  • Backspace or Alt+Left Arrow goes 'Back'
• F2 - Edit a cell in Excel rather than clicking on it. This is also used to re-name something in Windows explorer- folder name or file name.
• Shift+Tab - how you 'de-indent' things. If you're using bulleted lists in Powerpoint, Word, etc. and you need to go back up a level, Shift+Tab is your man.

I will now go back to just posting links and pithy comments.

Nudie Bar is a juice bar and movie theater. To get over a loophole in the local laws, owner installed a movie theater. Beautiful. Thanks to boot for this one.

Northwestern chapter of Phi Delta Theta suspended. This would be a follow-up to their profile in the NY Times. Thanks to Gabe for this one.

MTV's sweet 16 show. I've seen two of these in two days, and they're complete train wrecks. You can't help but watch. It's surreal. And then it makes you want to puke. Here's the other episode.

Tara Reid wants a regular boyfriend. From s, who adds She'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars. Or for free if you get married to her. Hey, you could even get settlement money if you get divorced! So maybe its more like: She'll suck your cock and then pay you a million dollars... In case you were wondering, it's been three whole months since the 'boob-falling-out-of-the-dress incident.

Will sent this one in to try and shed some light on determining when exactly the time period for 'back when the house was good' was.

Bob Lutz on GM quality. He makes a decent argument in favor of at least looking at GM products. There are also a lot of interesting comments toward the bottom. Stolen off of Autoblog. On a side note, I was in a rented corolla this weekend, and it was no better than any american car I've come in contact with in the past five years.

Hysterical Who's Line Is It This one's from Mexico (aka Norby). He adds Friend of mine sent this to me and it happens to be so funny. Check it out.

Since when did Pittsburgh become the hotspot for gambling?

Indian tribe planning casinos in Ohio - one close to Pittsburgh. The 'burgh folks are worried it will detract from the 'slots parlor' going in downtown. I'm sure that 'slots parlor' is really going to class up the joint. Anybody want to buy a house? Thanks to JT for the clever tag line and link.

Overweight kid singing and chair dancing into a web cam. (Flash video) This one's from bw. As a PSA to all the other dorky, overweight kids out there - don't record yourself doing things. It will only be used to shame and ridicule you.

John Vernon, aka Dean Wormer has passed away. Bharath sent this one in and will be pouring some out this weekend.

Gizoogle - the Snoop search engine. Returns google results in snoop-speak.

Principal bans 'anti-military,' 'anti-American' materials Two groups were distributing them during a fair for organizations. Parents objected so the principal banned them. Keep in mind that these are high school kids, many of whom can legally see R rated movies, and the rest of whom have easy access to porn on the interweb. What happened to the free exchange of ideas in this country? When did speaking out make you 'anti-American'? And when did being against the military become so horrible that even the notion of it warrants a ban from a high school?

Computer simulation can map a room and add objects in real time. It uses only a video camera feed an no special markers. It only needs one object of known size in line of sight. Crazy. Thanks to derek for the link and tag. The dude abides.

The tampon doll. They should come with accessory ketchup packets. I love the internet.

Simpsons on Sunday Features Tom Brady, Yao Ming, Michelle Kwan, LeBron James and Warren Sapp. I had read elsewhere that it was Denise Kwan, Michelle's sister or something random, but anyway. Thanks to naj and 'the man' for sending this one in.

Listerine will get you drunk. There are many, many reasons why you shouldn't drink it, though. Semi-scientific breakdown of this 54-proof wonder.

Lisa and Jeff got hitched. A weekend trip down to Ausin yielded a night of fun on 4th street, a visit to chez vasudevan, mexican, chinese, and uh, american food, a party bus, dressed up coworkers, and a pretty sweet band. Not too shabby.

Gunner Palace - documentary about soldiers set up in Saddam's palace. It's almost like a modern version of the 2nd act of Full Metal jacket. But real.

Deion Sanders' Hot Dog Express It cooks hotdogs just like 7-eleven. There's a tremendous auto-loading video on the page. Thanks to derek for this one.

The Story of Oedipus (sorta) from derek

Star Wars convention attendees. It's got soem amusing captions as well. I think this has been floating around for a while, but man is it scary.

Chicago city park, including the Bean, is copyrighted. Theoretically, you could take a picture of it for private use only, but beyond that, they have the ability to come after your ass. The same things applies to the Eiffel Tower at night, because the douche bags put up new lights and copyrighted the new look.

I'm playing around with a site re-design, and want to figure out what to keep on the home page. Any and all suggestions are welcome.

Insane breakdance video. From Jay Park. I haven't watched it, so you're on your own. I just hope it's better than those m:robe commercials from last night.

Father's point of view on his son's meth addiction. Does a good job of conveying the feeling of helplessness that accompanies watching someone deal with addiction. Definitely worth the read if you've got five minutes.

PETA forces Mercedes to produce leather-free cars on demand. "When you consider that the skins of four to 15 cows are needed for each car this means thousands of cows will be spared," said PETA researcher Edmund Haferbeck. "This is a huge victory for animal rights."

Which reminds me, who's up for a trip to Wendy's? I think the one near me is having a special on the triple-cheeseburger.

BHendrix re-design ideas. This is just a couple ideas I had. On the left is sort of a tab thing, which could be duplicated on the right to include poll and search. Random pics would stay in front.

On the right is a poll that can be opened/closed. Problem is that for every re-load it opens, unless I set more preferences, and that means more cookies. Or setting up user accounts. Anyway, lemme know if this sucks/rules/doesn't matter.

I haven't implemented all the image switching, etc. but the javascript will work. Also, the links between the [] brackets are all the admin links. So just ignore 'em.

Deb from Napolean Dynamite turns 20. I like your sleeves.

Mercedes gets even more overpriced. It costs $2,750 to ship an SLR. Damn Brits.

4 Gigapixel camera built by retired physicist. Amazing set of pictures showing the ability to zoom in on minute details.

Flint developed his own wheel-mounted tripod to lug the camera around, and fitted his van with a shooting platform made from sliding safety doors used in nuclear reactors.

Google Maps. Advantages over mapblast and co. seem to be natural language input - e.g. 33 Smith street pittsburgh, pa instead of 6 seperate input boxes, local business search integrated, better pan/zoom functionality, and the typical Google dhtml interface of goodness. It put my house on the other side of a cross street, but most tools do.

All of hte superbowl ads. In one convenient place. Somehow I missed the Brad Pitt one. And wow does the Cadillac XLR-V look sweet. And yes, I just typed that. Keep an eye out for the locust and the dudes on the horses.

welsh rugby fan cuts his own balls off This one's from Jay Park and oof. It's safe for work, there's no gross pictures or anything like that. Oof added This is just wrong. I wonder was his BAC was at the time. alternate link.

Blue Jays will spend an extra 210 million over 3 years. This one's all will. Baseball is going insane. This is on top of the 50 million they planned on spending. Toronto is trying to compete in the same division as the Red Sox and Yankees. For comparison, the Pirates will spend about 40 million this year.

Most watched TiVo moments. In their chart it says GoDaddy (which is a rip-off) was #3, but the chart seems to put it at #1. The Tabasco girl was #7. Stolen from engadget.

Get Fuzzy pretty much covers bhendrix.com Autoblog liked it for the car humor. I feel readers of the site may enjoy the 2nd panel more.

Company looking for a marketing associate. The company I work for is looking for a marketing type person in the Burch, Cinci, or Columbus offices. Shoot me an e-mail if you fit the bill.

The most G-A-Y Homosexual Tattoo EVER! From miolla. Not so safe for work.

I don't know how gay you have to be in order to get this tattoo but I hope that it's not a drunk tattoo shaming.

This just in, I beleve this photo is of Randall Gay's back (cornerback for the New England Patriots).

A number of Frontline episodes are available for viewing. Many of the recent shows as well as several from a while ago. Thanks PBS.

Easy way to fly on someone else's ticket. Check in on-line, then change that ticket to the name you need. I think this occurred to everyone I fly with within the first two weeks you could do this. I hesitate to link this, as internet check-in is tremendous.

Dude learns how to cook. May get girls at some point. From ssss, who adds I put this under the craziness category because he thought that he could kiss one of the girls after the meal but he was "too tired"

Predator drone videos made available to news organizations. From whoever sent this in This makes an internet operated hunting rifle look like a pea shooter

Teacher nails 13 yr. old student. Tag line and link are from bob, who adds i remember the last teacher that did this was busted, but this one... wow. to be 13 again....

Judge gets busted with a penis pump while behind the bench. From Jay Park, who adds the appropriate disclaimer it's work safe as far as there being no pictures.

Bill passes to allow $50 fine for sagging pants. Also from s - I am seething.

Karate Kid saga available as DVD box set. From Jim, cause Jim never gets any credit. The picture is awesome.

Americans are less proud of America than last year. The low point was just after Sept. 11th, though, which is strange. ID: privacy1st@mailinator.com pwd: tribune.

Smoking Gun pic of the student-banging teacher. From naj, who adds Maybe she isn't as hot as the last one. It's amazing what that brittany spears hat can do for a chick.

Top ten dorkiest hobbies. Pretty spot-on and pretty funny.

Distinguishing Characteristics: You’ll know furries and plushies because they’ll either be wearing a crotchless panda suit or just a screaming teddy bear firmly against their crotch, respectively.

If you and your team of paladins are thinking about leaving your mom’s basement to move your fantasy quests into society, you might as well leave your genitals behind.

Google Maps easter egg. Just click through. Note search term and results. Gold, Jerry. Gold.

Random-ish image puzzle. Uses some cool tricks to move through 15 different pages. And, if you want the answers, Google has them. Thanks to Jay Park for this one.

Drop Kick the Faint. Apparently the Faint is a band. Anyway, pretty fun little flash game. It has sound as well, which adds significantly to the amusement. Thanks to s for this one. Update The game is safe for work, but the high score list is NOT. Capital N-O-T. Thanks to Will for the clarification.

The Audi A4 Pickup truck. Oh, the humanity. Includes pictures.

Bet Fair.com I'm guessing people have already seen this, but their interface is pretty slick for a web app. Just keep clicking until you can actually place a bet. The number of things going on in the background is pretty impressive.

Are you spending too much on your car? It should be 8% of your gross monthly income, according to the financial planner guy.

It used to be the 36-month auto loan was the most common. Then, in the mid-1990s, it was the 60-month loan. But now, the majority of lenders will offer loans up to 72 months, said Nicholas Stanutz, head of the Consumer Banker Association's auto finance committee. That's six years of car payments. And a handful, he said, will even offer loans with terms as high as 84 months or -- hit the brakes, Bertha -- 96 months. That's right. An eight-year auto loan.

Top Fuel Dragsters put into perspective. I think this was in Motor Trend last month. Amazing.

Spark plugs are totally consumed during a run. In fact, after half way, the engine is dieseling from the compression and the glow of the exhaust valves. After this point, the engine can only be shut down by cutting the fuel flow.

A stock 426 HEMI does not produce enough horsepower to drive a Top Fuel supercharger

Catholicism is on the upswing in the South. And they're looking to make it more conservative. Good luck with that, and try not to fuck any little boys on your way through the parking lot.

Dodge debuts the 'Nitro' SUV. Looks pretty cool. Seems kinda slow. Looks like the power wagon and the Cherokee had a kid.

Cocksucker beats up motherfucker. From the Onion via Jeremy H. Marking it not work safe due to language.

Judge says discarded embryos can be 'wrongful death'. All from oof. So, this potentially has widespread ramifications for both expecting mothers and scientific research. I wonder what happens if this isn't overturned on appeal. By the way, I posted this under the category of debate cause I'm sure some Bhendrix readers feel differently.

Wouldn't jerking off qualify under this law as well? Anyway, in other related news, the scientist that created Dolly the sheep has a license to clone embryos. It's for research purposes. He's going after MND, motor neuron disease, which had a breakthrough as noted in this poorly titled post.

International Truck introduces 'smaller' version of giant truck. In all seriousness, aren't these things on the verge of requiring another class of license? Anyway, I think it's fair to say that buying one of these cements your status as a complete moron. Thanks to JT for the link and the tag line. Update More info and pics over at autoblog.

National Lampoon Vegas Tours Check out the link at the bottom, "Sign up now, or we'll shoot this dog." All from Nino.

Can the person that submitted the story as 'Indian Jones and the Last Grenade' shoot me an e-mail?

Medical device increases blood flow to a woman's, uh, thing. It's FDA approved, and works, for lack of better terminology, like a penis pump. Stolen from gizmodo.

Fake news reporter gets White House credentials and access to CIA memos. The memos included information about Valerie Plame, the outed operative. He's not affiliated with the Daily Show. This is for real, unfortunately.

World Press Photo Award winners. Some amazing photos from this year. Number 10 (the sandstorm) is really impressive, but begs the question 'what happened afterwards?'

Fat toilets for fat people From Jay Park. it's a toilet for fat people. does it self plunge itself? work safe link

An excellent Valentine's card. Maybe not totally work safe, but it's not desk worthy.

Wal-Mart to close over union threat. Wow. Who needs who?

Become a republican. Amusing flash cartoon.

The Whizzinator Whizzy in 08' Fake device so you can pass urine tests. Thanks to s for this one. I was wondering where you could get the thing that Tom Sizemore used.

snow tow video You can probably see where it's going right off the bat, but enjoy the ride. And be glad it's not you. Thanks to longtime lurker Marissa for this one.

Useless tsunami aid includes thong panties It also includes soccer cleats, 4" heels, and black sequin dresses. Also, there's a sixer of Viagra, which I'm sure the Sri Lankan spammer has already sold. Thanks to Gabe for this one. Panties.

"It's clear that some people have sent clothes that are actually meant to be used as dusters," said Himali Fernando, another aid official. "We don't mean to be ungrateful, but it would be appreciated if people take a little more care before just unloading their basements and garages."

Pictures of motorcycles in 1024x768 format. They've got all the major bikes, including pretty much everything from the Gugenheim exhibit. Sweet.

A quick look into the debate over Pluto's categorization. Essentially, they are not sure what exactly Pluto is, because it's so small. However, the debate is the inspiration of one of rcr's and boss dog's favorite songs by 2 Skinnee J's. You are encouraged to drill down to the lyrics section and examine Pluto on the album Supermercado!. This one's all from jm.

just an ad from derek.

Dude competed in sports as a woman. All from will, who adds It's gotta be uncomfortable running with your junk taped back. Here here.

All from JT: Something about this transition struck me as very funny:

The man, who was standing on the court, dropped to a knee and asked the woman to marry him.

Instead of answering, the woman turned and ran off the court with her face in her hands.

Meanwhile, Steve Francis scored 22 points and handed out 10 assists to lead the Orlando. Hedo Turkoglu also had 22 points in the win.

Get Napster music free - Loophole! This guy figured out a way to get free music from napster. My friend here last night got 3GB worth of music and is still crankin' away. No one's claiming this one.

I finally managed to see all of these.

All about string theory. There are basic and advanced versions for each section. Advanced means 'includes equations'.

Profile of eBaum, or ebaum's world.

Iron Hymen.com

"Watch out, boys! Because thanks to Iron Hymen, my baby cave is better guarded than a maximum security prison – even one ringed with electrified razorwire and a crocodile-infested moat!"

Carly Fiorina gets $21 million severance package. So let me get this straight? I can major in medieval studies, get an MBA, and then run a great tech company straight into the ground? Then I get to collect $21 million+ the day they fire my ass? There's a special place in hell for Carly. I hope she enjoys it.

Missile defense fails another test. Nothing like some government welfare gone bad. They're going to spend $8.8 billion on this in 2006, and this launch cost $85 million.

Plame Reporters' subpoenas upheld. These would be the clowns that helped (updated)reveal the identity of CIA operative Valerie Plame. Somebody's gonna fry.

Amy sent me this:

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

• a half-gallon of 2% milk
• a carton of eggs
• a quart of orange juice
• a head of romaine lettuce
• a 2 lb. can of coffee
• and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the drunk's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said,

"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied,
"Cause you're ugly."

100 great jokes. In the morning, I'll be sober. From derek.

A weird sort of game involving people flying through the air in various ways. Uses Rag Doll physics. From derek as well.

Pittsburgh recommended as a great place to retire. As if the city needs more freakin' old people... This is from ryan, who adds I just threw up in my mouth.

well not me personally, but i guy i know... Save Toby.com okay, so i don't know him, but this is a pretty damn good idea. This is all from Jay Park.

2005 Chicago Auto Show I'll do a longer write-up later, but here's the pics. I only got shots of cars that were interesting to me for some reason or were new this year. Take a look at last years pics for the Maybachs, etc. Great show.

Thieves Burned Alive by Flaming Tyres It's from the BBC. From Brick, who adds Why does this sort of thing sound familiar?

You'll need the java plugin to run this, but it gives a graphical representation for when your name was most popular between the 1900's and 2003 When was a baby name popular?

Jay Park sent this all in and did some analysis. To my surprise, the following names were never popular:
Jaiman
Bharath
Prashanth
Sri

however, Omari is a popular name in the 1990's

A Very Long Engagement wins cinematography award. You may remember it as the film spoken in French, filmed in France, using French actors and French crew, but then declared not French. I remember it as one of the more horrifying war movies of all time. But yes, the cinematography was excellent.

6 Minivan occupants survive 400 foot drop into ravine. They went off the road in Colorado in a Pontiac Montana. The car behind them used OnStar to call for help. Includes pic. Stolen from Autoblog.

Rock fonts. Fonts that look like your favorite band. Weezer included.

Will is finally making the plunge and buying a car sometime in the next couple of months... I want something small and quick and mid 20k is my upper range. I'm gonna go new, or recently used if I can find something I like. If you vote None of the Above, please suggest something in comments.

Lance will compete in the Tour. Thanks to naj and JT for this one.

The Ford SynUS - the suv that thinks its a bank vault. From derek, who adds the ultimate in demolition derby technology. This was in Chicago, and incited such anger toward the Powers That Be at the Ford Motor Company, that I simply had to sigh and walk away, lest I verbally assault the young woman on the rotating platform. If possible, this car is even more horrific in person.

Shotgun golf by Hunter S. Thompson. Vaguely sports related, less-vaguely madness related. And it has Bill Murray. All from Will.

The new Passat. Tons of pics and details from VW Vortex. Looks spiffy.

Analysis of the Jim Gannon fiasco. This is a follow up to the Times post from yesterday. I stole this all from Daily Kos.

Imagine the media explosion if a male escort had been discovered operating as a correspondent in the Clinton White House. Imagine that he was paid by an outfit owned by Arkansas Democrats and had been trained in journalism by James Carville. Imagine that this gentleman had been cultivated and called upon by Mike McCurry or Joe Lockhart—or by President Clinton himself. Imagine that this "journalist" had smeared a Republican Presidential candidate and had previously claimed access to classified documents in a national-security scandal.

Then imagine the constant screaming on radio, on television, on Capitol Hill, in the Washington press corps—and listen to the placid mumbling of the "liberal" media now.

Men are biologically programmed to fall asleep after sex. Many, many thanks to JT for this one.

Not everyone nods off after sex. The survey found 48 per cent of men had actually fallen asleep during the act itself.

I'm going to be gone for the next 10 days or so, so I'm looking for people who want to guest-edit the site. It may entail just approving submitted links or if you feel ambitious, finding and adding new links/stories/whatever. It's actually pretty easy, but will take a bit of time here and there. If you're interested, shoot me an email - brian@bhendrix.com

how do they park like that? Proving once again that the entire country known as 'Japan' is full of crazy people, here's a photo gallery of cars parked ridiculously. Gotta admire the steez, though. Dope.

Oil Traders beat up GreenPeace Volunteers

WHEN 35 Greenpeace protesters stormed the International Petroleum Exchange (IPE) yesterday they had planned the operation in great detail. What they were not prepared for was the post-prandial aggression of oil traders who kicked and punched them back on to the pavement.

“We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”

“They grabbed us and started kicking and punching. Then when we were on the floor they tried to push huge filing cabinets on top of us to crush us.”

GreenPeace voluteers heard asking "You eat pieces of $h!t for breakfast?"

Thanks to Nino for the link...

98-026 - Programming a NES game. Includes all the lecture slides as well as the programs. And yes, it was taught at CMU.

Godfather video game that plays like GTA. From Bharath, who addes This is the first video game reason I will have had to take a day off work.

It’s got the voices of Brando, Duval and Caan – this plot can only get better.

Bharath also sent in notice of the Air Guitar championships. I swear this is legit – the qualifying rounds are next week. And no – Ben Stiller is not involved and this isn’t televised on the OCHO.

Wallpaper-sized images from the doomed Hubble telescope. Thanks to Rollins for the link and excellent tag line.

Pimpzilla. The greatest Firefox theme ever created. You ain't a big dogg unless you got one of these.

Pimpzilla is a theme for the browser Firefox. It's also probably the most tacky & overdone piece of GUI design out there, aimed solely for true internet-connaisseurs. If you are into fur and lot's of bling, this is the theme for you.

The lip-syncing fat kid is identified. This would be the kid from this story.

Synthetic sex pheromones are being developed as an ingenious way of luring randy cockroaches to their deaths.

Thanks to coltz for the link.

Innovative squirrel trap. Possibly NSFW (its blocked by WebSense on my cpu).

Simpsons voices on conan. A stellar video clip - Thanks to Jay...

A friend of a friend lost their cat (yes, that's gay) but they're probably going to replace the cat with one of these. If hell froze over and I got a cat, this would definitely be the one. Thank to miolla for this one.

Supposedly hockey is on.

Them Rooskies are at it again. From the makers of the hangover pill, comes the pill that "prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication."

http://telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/02/18/wpill18.xml

Video of the drawing of a woman from skeleton to fully clothed model [Flash] Maybe not safe for work, but really freakin' cool.

Madison A to Z - a guide to eateries. It's a little sad that I wanted to comment on just about every one, but there you go. Remember the 1000 bars guy? He's up to 212

Breast implants grown from your own stem cells could be available within a decade. Real or fake? Well, both, actually. The penis implant cannot be far behind.

Cumming - the Fragrance. Alan Cumming, probably best known as Nightcrawler, has made a cologne. Apparently the mouthwash and hair gel are pretty excellent as well. This was on the Daily Show.

So the initial draft of this dissappeared, so check http://drudgereport.com/flash3ph.htm. Someone hacked Paris' Sidekick. Check here for links to everything that was on it (pictures, emails, notes, phone numbers) along with some crank calls. The second link is NOT safe for work. Thanks to Cpt. Park for at least one of those, and no thanks to Brian's "draft" function, which makes things disappear.

http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36~53~2723492,00.html

Hunter S. Thompson shoots self in head

"Fear and Loathing" author dead at 67

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...
complete with mermaids battling sea creatures paint job and velvet interior

Ball 2
Move the ball with the arrow keys to get it to the gate. It's actually kind of hard.

Ohio State President auctioned
Guaranteed to "ruin the undergraduate experience."

McDonald's Bathroom Attendant

A female sports steaker caught the cross from the striker and pushed one past a pro keeper. Either they need to sign her up or the keeper needs to be fired. Either way, the world is a better place because of this Windows Media Player file. http://www.koreus.com/files/200408/striker_goal.html
Thanks to miolla for this one.

Melinda and Melinda
It's a Woody Allen film starring Will Ferrell
Two writers argue over whether an unexpected guest at a dinner party would make a better comedy or tradgedy. Ferrell is in the comedy scenario. As an added bonus, Woody Allen doesnt appear in the movie.

Man attacked trooper with chain saw
Right after Brian leaves eastern PA, everything goes to hell.

Elephant Dung Paper
Just don't click on "Hot Dung News", unless you like pictures of elephant dung. Oh, and elephants suck at art.

No Name Game #1
Operation-style don't touch the sides game, the object being to get successfully from one end to the other.

When is this "people buying random crap on eBay" thing going to stop? $34 dollars??

Interesting list of the NFL's most salary-blessed players. Even more interesting is that the Browns have the highest paid Defensive End and the highest + 4th highest paid Defensive Tackles in the league, yet still cannot stop the run.

Possibility of a DIII tourney berth.

Thanks to Ryan for the link and this quip: "Slightly interesting if only because Mayes was a freshman the last time it happened"

I'd also like to note that, judging by the picture in the article, the attendance has grown by about 400% (to a total of 20 fans/friends/family).

The Greatest Day Ever

Now we all have something to celebrate on mine and Rollins Birthday. It's No Pants Day. Make sure to celebrate with hot chicks. Hogs and mules need not apply.

The Fleet Center is selling naming rites for the building on a per-day basis. Some Jackass in NYC is trying to name it DJC

Also, something retarded you can buy on Ebay.

The new RS4. 420 HP V-8. 0-100km/h in 4.8 seconds. Odd nose.

Agassi and Federer play tennis on 300 meter-high helipad. Sweet pictures in the links.

Halle Berry shows up to accept Razzie. Tom Green did it before, but she went a little further, adding "I want to thank Warner Brothers for casting me in this piece of shit". It's from Reuters, so I'm assuming it's real, even though it reads like an Onion article.

monster-in-law. It's got J.Lo AND Wanda Sykes. And people wonder how a film can lose money.

Clarett has a bad day at the NFL combine. By 'bad day' I mean Clarett ran his 40s in disastrous times of 4.79 an 4.89. Scott Young, who they mentioned at the end of the article, is also pretty impressive, I guess. From his BYU profile - All weight combined, he has lifted over 1600 pounds in bench (535 lbs.), clean (378 lbs.) and squats (700 lbs.).

I'd like to congratulate the guy on the right for looking positively piss drunk AND staring at Blanchett's ass. Not that I would be doing anything different, but man, sucks to be him. Update Okay - so apparently it's pretty sweet to be that guy, as it's her husband, Andrew Upton. Carry on man. Carry on. Thanks to anonymous for the correction.

Google explains why 'Jew' is probably not a great search term. It has nothing to do with this site.

Thanks to JT and derek for manning the controls this past week while I was galavanting around North America. Nice job guys.

Profile of a proponent of 'Intelligent Design'. The odds have boggled his mind, so obviously there was a Creator. And of course, the best part comes from my Senator Rick Santorum.

high-ranking U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., lauds Dembski for "his groundbreaking effort to show just how unscientific many modern scientists tend to be." This from a lawyer with an MBA and a poli sci degree.

HIV positive youths taking more risks. This is compared to pre-HAART drugs, which help control the diesease to a degree. Because you really needed another reason to bag it.

Phishing test. This does not involve the band in any way. It does involve people stealing your money and your identity. Learn how to spot bogus e-mails.

For Me to Poop On.com In the long tradition of hacking up other pages, this one is pretty sweet. It doesn't like the bhendrix.com style sheet for some reason, but you get the idea.

Craig's List - War on your penis. Why do I feel I'm no more than 3 degrees away from the ivy league b-school guy that's been to Thailand?

But I'm a man so know what you're doing and believe me I'm not afraid to let her in on your devious little plan. This cuddling thing is all a part of your big campaign to pressure her into a 3some, after which, if you get it, you will dump her on her ass for me to save.

Profile of guy with a brain implant to control external devices. This is pretty amazing stuff. He can play simple video games and control an artificial arm. Of course, there's the kill-everything-right-now-because-we-can side, too.

"We will be able to remotely look down on a cave and think to ourselves, 'Let's go down there and kick some butt.' And the robots will respond, controlled by our thoughts. Imagine a warrior with the intellect of a human and the immortality of a machine."

What really happened to Clarett Thanks to Nino for this one.

Clarett ended up following a similar training and eating regimen and, while he appeared rock solid, his body mass had increased too much. His work ethic was commendable and his body fat was plummeting, but his weight was exorbitant and there had to be some doubt about what it would do to his speed.

"Last year, completely out of shape, he had run a 4.6. This year, in shape, he'd run a 4.8."

Die in Britain, Survive in the US. It's a summary of a Spectator (UK) article, but interesting nonetheless.

Taken as a whole, Britain's universal health care system has evolved into a ramshackle structure where tests are underperformed, equipment is undersupplied, operations are underdone, and medical personnel are overworked, underpaid and overly tied down in red tape. In other words, your chances of coming out of the American medical system alive are dramatically better than in Britain.

The House has voted to raise the maximum fines for indecency to $500,000. That includes the broadcaster that airs it and the performer. Keep in mind this only applies to stations that broadcast over the air, not cable channels. Choice quote:

"By significantly increasing fines, they are going to be at a level where they can no longer be ignored," said Rep. Fred Upton, R-Mich., who introduced the bill. "Parents can rest easy." Keep dreaming, Fred.

So why is this a problem? Well, the FCC doesn't act on anything at all until someone complains to them. You could show XXX porn on TV as long as no one said anything to the FCC. Unfortunately, a very vocal minority has taken to abusing the complaint system, and as such, they're enforcing a form of censorship over the airways. Witness the fuss over Saving Private Ryan being shown on ABC. It was ruled 'decent', so no fines would be levied. (posted previously) But what station in their right mind is going to wager up to $500,000 that it is decent? And you can't get things approved in advance. Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling.

So Google is in the movie information business. If you type in movie: "movie name" etc., you get specs for the film you're interested in. It doesn't stop there. For movies in theaters, you get a prompt for show times. For movies not in theaters, you get a Rotten Tomatoes-style aggregation of all reviews. And if you're looking for movies in Lincoln, Nebraska, do movie:Lincoln, NE and it'll give you showtimes in one punch. movie: Steven Spielberg will give you senior Spielberg-o's resume. Anyway, maybe they've been doing this for a while, but I thought it was cool and wanted to pass it along.

Ryan sent this in, along with this explanation... I just wanted to send along a little picture that Karen took this weekend. I hope you can see it well enough to see what it is. It was nighttime. Anyway, Karen noticed this in the car in front of us and remember she'd had the camera so all credit goes to her. That shows that my love affair with the CT is rubbing off on her

The 38 States. Interesting suggestion for re-drawing the US Map. I can see a few problems already, such as Madison, WI's reluctance to be included in a state with Milwaukee, Chicago, and Gary, IN. Also, "Don't mess with Alamo" doesn't have the same ring. Anyway, something a little different on a boring Monday night.

Crazy snowmobile video. Some of these guys are going into orbit. And the wallride is particularly nasty. I think I saw Weintein in there somewhere...